Dish Upon a Star

Archive for November 2010

Dish is bleeding from the eyes from the flood of “Don’t call me Shirley” Facebook status updates. Let us mourn Leslie Nielsen, whose Airplane and Naked Gun movies enthralled viewers. I won’t call him Shirley, but I will call him Leslie. R.I.P., you silver fox. He was good on The Love Boat, too.

Speaking of love, A-Rod and Diaz are back on! Though perhaps they were never “off.” The holidays always bring people together.

Rumor has it James Franco and Anne Hathaway will host the Oscars. I’m sorry but I want a funny comedian who traditionally bombs with the unfunny overly-PC Oscar audience. These guys don’t laugh. Maybe it’s the Botox or takingselftooseriouslyitis?

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2:15, Whore Foods, Union Square: While taking an afternoon constitutional, Dish spotted funnywoman Rachel Dratch pushing a baby carriage through the dairy section. Sporting chic black sweatpants, she seemed harried but one would expect this if pushing a baby carriage through a crowded store during the busiest weekend of the year. Hope she got out okay. TG and I spent 0$ though did discover they sell Growler beer.

The city still empty and I’m craving another Thanksgiving dinner. Because the stars aren’t delivering tasty goods either, I introduced TG to Waiting for Guffman, a classic. See fun clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De6AkndwRpM&feature=related. Upon waking, I realized I’d missed Duran Duran on The Today Show. Dish is getting old.

Speaking of old, Willie Nelson was busted for pot again. Why don’t the authorities just let him smoke his doobies? No one is going to stop him. He’s a legend, not hurting anyone. Other criminals do more serious stuff. Willie and doobies go together like Mom and apple pie.

…and Dish still feels like death warmed over. With a couple exceptions, it was mostly a wasted day, which aggravates. If I can’t cross things off my To Do, who am I?

Well, I’m not Taylor Swift, though we both sing a little off key. She is the envy of many gay men because she might have even touched the abs of the Prince of Persia, Jake Gyllenhaal. Tabloids report they had Thanksgiving maple lattes (gag!) over the holiday. I’m sure they had a lot of lattes, and why shouldn’t they?

Hope you’re having a Happy Thanksgiving weekend. Dish is catching up on her stars, like Nicki Minaj and Cheryl Cole. It’s a new generation.

…Lindsay getting out of rehab for Thanksgiving. Dish stayed behind bars through Christmas, without so much as a ho ho ho. Well, maybe a ho.

…Michael Douglas being healthy enough to go to Disney World with his family. He’s as skinny as Catherine. The two could tip over at any second. Eat, papa.

…Duran Duran’s new album comes out in December.

…Jennifer Grey won DWTS. Power to the middle age!

…most of all, thanks to TG, family and friends.

Dish feels like death warmed over. The treadmill made the head pound worse. The Rx: I pray baking helps, along with a double decaf espresso to knock out the throbbing. In the words of Carly Simon, “I haven’t got time for the pain.”

But what do I know about pain? Jennifer Jason Crazy and Noah Baumbach are divorcing. The first red flag for Dish was his directing his wife to poop in her pants in Margot at the Wedding. Still not over it, though applaud later-in-life marriages (wink wink).

Welcome to the new Travolta, Baby Benjamin.

Happy Day Before Thanksgiving!

Two British hearts beat as one starting on April 29, 2011. Dammit, I’m not missing another royal wedding. I have Kate/Wills fever along with the rest of the world. Consider Dish in front of the television from dusk to dawn!

From dawn to yawn, Gabriel Aubry seems to be dating Kim Kardashian. Such a step down in many ways though Kim is in the spotlight than Halle. Then again, Halle has a hotter boyfriend and her Oscar, which are both better rewards.

In other news, Kelsey Grammer allegedly tried to keep his 6.5 million $ love shack from his ex Camille, the one who gave the best years of her life (though not bad to live in a mansion and have icky husband gone most of the time). Now, if only I didn’t love Kelsey so much as Frasier!