Dish Upon a Star

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #5

Posted on: December 21, 2010

Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding—The Baywatch theme song often moves me to tears. Just listen to the lyrics and you’ll be touched. Plus, how could anyone resist David Hasselhoff in swim trunks, showing off his hairy man teets? Feast your eyes on the bikinis jiggling along the shoreline. No one jiggles like Pamela Anderson and even Dish gets a little aroused. Best of all, I get to see my old friend Yasmine Bleeth, who by this time bears the ill effects of coke-nose-cave-in. I love that she’s left the entertainment to live a better life. So in this series, you’ll see lots of young people who can’t act and the regulars, Pammy, Carmen and David, hamming it up. David falls for a Stephanie lookalike which everyone thinks is effed up, while Gena Lee Nolin flaunts her blondness to get David back. Danger ensues as an evil Asian man threatens the fine thespians. A couple gems include: “You filthy slut!” “I’m swearing off men!” “You bitch!” There is some fighting on the waterslide—with boobs thrashing in spectacular fashion, all leading to a see-through wedding dress at the end.

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