Dish Upon a Star

Countdown to Matrimony: Wedding Movie #19

Posted on: January 5, 2011

Driven to Kill: Steven Seagal is the Meryl Streep of action movies. He excels at the fake New York accent (Brooklyn), Appalachia, and, when pressed, Ebonics. In Driven to Kill, he rocks a Russian dialect, da. As a former Russian mobster turned crime novelist (with post-its “Tolstoy” and “Chekhov” on the side of his computer to remind us that he’s Russian), Steven goes to his estranged daughter’s wedding in NYC. Because he’s Steven, all hell breaks loose, fight scenes ensue and he must save his child from death. The director has a sense of humor when he does closeups on Steven’s large pores and beady revenge-filled eyes. The old guy doesn’t move around as quickly and that jaunty ponytail has transformed into steel wool, but he still delivers so-bad-it’s-good action. Bottom line: Steven goes apesh*t when you mess with his family and the wife always dies.

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