Dish Upon a Star

Season Finale of “The Bachelor”

Posted on: March 15, 2011

I spent a few years in graduate school studying Foucault, Belgian novelists and post-colonial theory (I can only use this excuse for so long). I promised to read 5 more pages of Proust, which made me less ashamed to watch the three-hour finale of The Bachelor where Brad Womack made his choice in bride. Spoiler Alert: It was Emily. Of course it was Emily. The brunette, while adorable, seemed too desperate to marry Brad and broke all the tenets we learned in He’s Just Not That Into You, i.e. when you tell him you love him over and over, you’re driving him away. Wearing one’s heart on one’s sleeve is just fine with Dish. Life is short. Most important, when Chantal cried, which was on every episode, she looked pretty. But Brad chose darling Emily, though I was crushed to realize they didn’t have a fairy tale relationship after the proposal. They have real issues, which include her not moving to Austin and “poking the bear.” Dish wanted to see an impulsive wedding between these two and I’m afraid it’ll go the way of past Bachelor couples–down the toilet. Perhaps Brad got his true comeuppance with his choice, though I hope they both find happiness. This was more than I’d expected, especially since with his chiseled man-teets, wooden interaction with the ladies and constant working out, I thought he was…well…

Dish is off on a Miranda and Steve honeymoon at Mohonk. We’ve never gone away together and after 16 months together, it’s about time. Before I go, one of Charlie’s hos Kacey Jordan tried to commit suicide. With all the awfulness happening in Japan and this makes headlines. Only bright spot in global tragedy is how people come together to help each other. Let’s hope this country can recover and get on the road to healing.

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