Dish Upon a Star

Archive for August 2011

A very low key day in celebrity haps. Mel Gibson had a large victory in court. He only has to pay his babymama 750K. And he’s worth gazillions. They both seem bananas. Another victory, some mysterious buyer (hmmmm) wants to take Kim Kardashian’s sex tape off the market. Now that she’s married, it doesn’t seem right to watch it incessantly as one is wont to do.

So, Dish got around to watching Just Go With It because Aniston can’t be missed. The story is highly predictable and The Wedding Singer is miles better as far as Sandler flicks go (yes, I saw Punch Drunk Love). Brooklyn Deckler has huge melon-breasts and she’s perfect. But so is JA. Older + not-so perfect (since it’s Aniston, not-so = perfect) – stable family/good income = funnier + more attractive. Nicole Kidman and Dave Matthews are fantastic, bright spots in this dull as dirt movie. Nicole and Jennifer have amazing chemistry and I wondered, WHY? Wouldn’t they be competing? This is not the case. They complement each other beautifully–one sunny, funny honey-brown-blonde and one frosty crazy redhead. Then I realized they have one big thing in common: They both got ROYALLY screwed by their A-List exes. Can you imagine being a fly on the wall? Would love to see Aniston and Kidman star in their own movie.


Nancy Grace’s scenery-chewing and unmoving chin-length blond hair enraged me a little during the Casey Anthony case, but I think her appearance on Dancing With the Stars will be Must-See-TV. I bet she’ll be great. Redemption song! Controversy over Chaz Bono’s casting and being paired with a woman. I just want to say to those who might be appalled by Chaz dancing with a woman when there are so many other issues that are *actually* appalling: Get a life.

Fans worldwide gasped collectively over news that Justin Bieber was in a car accident. But he’s fine! And so is LeAnn Rimes’s ex-husband who just got married, thank goodness–it’s so face-saving. To keep things narcissistic, Dish noticed his new wife wears heavy black glasses, just like Dish’s new Tom Ford’s. And now, here’s something that will make you laugh and cry:

Confession: I watched Bachelor Pad again. The show has slid into Totally Boring now that they’ve sent off a pivotal trainwreck. Maybe I’ll go back to Proust. Talk about boring….What’s not boring: Dish is seeing Duran Duran TWICE within 9 days in October. I accidentally bought seats that are VERY close for one show (too much awesomeness for me). The big question is: Will I have a myocardial infarction?

The big news was that Beyonce is preggo. The baby is due in February (which in celeb-speak means January). Dish thinks she looks a little further along than 3 or 4 months. I’m thinking Beyonce is America’s sweetheart and has been for a very long time. And preggo or not, she danced her face off on last night’s show. So, the VMAs were just okay. Nothing too drastic other than Gaga’s being in drag, her monologue and flirting with Britney. I would have loved to see a makeout session but Brit has become very Stepford of late. I guess she doesn’t want to shock her “babies.” Actually, it would have been funner to see Kanye and Jay Z make out. The VMAs reminded me of how much I love Bruno Mars.

A shocker of a twist: It seems Lost star Matthew Fox punched a woman in Cleveland after she wouldn’t let him on her party bus. It’s tough once you’re no longer on a hit show. Also tough knowing that you’re not the greatest actor but can do the good-guy thing really, really well–but so can Jon Tenney and Michael Vartan and Vartan’s biggest vice seems to be online poker (which he admitted on Regis and Kelli and, yes, it’s sad that I know this). Bad things (and bad TV shows) happen in Cleveland. Punching a woman in face/stomach = in need of serious therapy and, oh, I don’t know…JAIL?

You’d think Canada would want to air the biggest dumb-fest of them all aside from the American Music Awards and the Grammys. The VMAs might have Nudity and Lesbian Kissing and Interrupting Atonal Singers and lots of Bleeping. Please, Lord? I want my VMAs. Oh wait, there’s Hulu. I can watch it later.

Back to really serious news: The second in command of that terrorist group I won’t name because I don’t want to be on anyone’s radar has been killed…again. We are just THAT good at killin’. This brings me to news coverage. We’ve seen so much Anderson Cooper on the news and it struck me, he could have taken his inheritance and blown spit bubbles for the rest of his life. Instead, he goes into hurricanes and earthquake devastation and gets the job done. A big hats off to all journalists who regularly display big hairy ones when the going gets tough.

Chaz Bono is going to be on Dancing with the Stars.

That is all. Pray that by tomorrow, I will be home.

…but reaction to her has already annoyed me. I know, catastrophes make you reach out to others. Though with 9/11, Facebook hadn’t been an issue. You were out of touch, but you called and emailed people. Now it’s the FB status updates that are setting off my stereotypical red-headed temper: “Light rain so far…” “Oh…it’s looking gloomy.” “OMG, so bored.” So am I. Maybe it’s that everyone has become a broadcaster (including me), maybe it’s because even the broadcasters are melodramatic. Maybe it’s because I’m in Canada and can’t experience the anxiety firsthand. People are vulnerable so one should be compassionate. Right now I’m Irened out and she hasn’t really hit NYC. Though…I will admit FB did prove useful with getting married and knowing that I lived through an earthquake that I didn’t feel. Never mind my bad mood.

So enough kvetching, Dish, what’s new in celebrity land? There’s some news that Ricky Gervais might host the Golden Globes again. I say, Halleluliah! He’s one of the few hosts who isn’t politically correct and kissing an audience’s ass. I hope, hope, hope Jane Lynch is the same for the Emmys. But, yes, please bring on Ricky to make stars remember how privileged they are to wear beautiful clothes and be in movies/television and make…um…art.

I had the fortune of seeing the trailer for Fireflies in the Garden where Julia plays a MOTHER to Ryan Reynolds. I can’t tell if it’s good, but we do know it’s another Serious Julia Movie, where in the crux of the turmoil, she will cry beautifully and at some point, flash her brilliant smile:

This is probably the weirdest thing I’ve witnessed in a star, and don’t you get the feeling that Jim Carrey is doing something else while he’s recording this? I do like Kathy Griffin’s answering creepy video:

The greatest victory is that reality stars won’t get stars on the Walk of Fame. Because they’re not doing anything that requires TALENT.

Meanwhile Dish is very tired of the fear-inducing media on Irene. We won’t be returning to NYC until Monday though Dish doesn’t want to get penalized in other areas so we might drive back early. I hope our cat survives!!! And to all of you affected, my warmest wishes for your safety. Who needs the stars when you have potential catastrophe? Dish is hoping the hurricane is as impactful as Y2K.

So le big news est que Steve Jobs a resigned from Pomme. C’est the end of an era et on doit mourner le fact que Steve est tres malade. Malgre this, il a change-ay le world. May good fortune soit avec toi, SJ, et merci pour votre innovation.

Sara Gilbert et sa long-time partner ont breakee up. David Arquette va faire Dancing with the Stars. Most important est que tout le monde sur le East Coast font le hairy sh$t bubbles over Hurricane Irene. Les New Yorkers sont un peu overreacting. Easy pour moi to say since je suis au Canada. Eight hours to get to Montreal. J’ai purchased mes Duran Duran MSG tickets en route!!!

Apres un long day, TG et moi, nous regardons Scooby Doo en francais.