Dish Upon a Star

I will summon the cool of Julianna Margulies in all harrowing situations. There have been many of late. More cool but in the fashion world, I’m following the buzz of Daphne Guinness who was written up The New Yorker. I’m fascinated by the effort she must take to get dressed. Is it comfortable? One must applaud living works of art. Ix Nay on the anorexia, though.

Today’s news: Justin and Jennifer bought some art for Haiti. Taylor Lautner and his gf broke up. As Rumi says, “20 more will come…”. Wanda Sykes got a double mastectomy after diagnosed with breast cancer. Hurray for her complete recovery ASAP.

Dish is going to Rachel Astarte Piccione’s signing for The Bride of Manhattan in Nyack, home of Rosie O’Donnell. Will nosh and get fabulous autographed reading material.

..but Dish is a little too chill to be a stick-figure. TG and I are catching up television, realizing that Modern Family does have the best writing. It’s hard to make TG laugh out loud and this show does it.

James Spader on The Office, very clever overall and given the talented writers and cast, it could pull through without Steve Carrell, just not for more than a couple years.

While I’m a huge Simon Cowell fan, especially since he doesn’t subscribe to American attitude of lifting up the talentless, The X Factor hasn’t been doing well in the ratings. Could audiences be tired of talent competitions and Glee type shows?

Goldie Hawn’s ex-husband Bill Hudson has a new tell-all. Goldie allegedly wanted an open marriage. Color me shocked! The 70s, Warren Beatty, oh God, I don’t believe it. I wonder why these cast-aside mates want to write tell-alls? It makes them look bitter and without a hobby. Maybe the money is gone.

Here’s another juicy tidbit, Courtney Stodden claims to have been aroused for 24 hours straight on her wedding night and wants to go to the “University of Doug.” This really does remind me of high school. The difference in Dishworld was…no wedding night at 16, didn’t know any Doug, and I only found arousal in Duran Duran and translating Catullus.

More vile than choice reality stars is the GOP in the most recent debate. Stephen Hill, a gay soldier, was booed for asking about DADT and none of the candidates came to his aid. A very sick party is the Grand OLD Party.

Today was the last day of All My Children. I have it in my queue though will need a lot of Kleenex. Greg and Jenny forever!!! And now Kim Delaney is getting yanked off stage for wobbling and slurring her words. The world has changed.

How sick I am already of this quote, but will confess to much agitation last night as Troy Davis’s execution delay gave me hope–regardless of whether or not he did it. I don’t know if he did it. Who really knows the truth for sure? Good that people protested. Very sad that the MacPhail family has had to endure this torment over and over. I still don’t believe in the death penalty. Every time I read about someone on their way to the chamber, I feel ill. Even Timothy McVeigh’s death disturbed me. Last night, I thought about Troy Davis dealing with those last minutes, the last meal if there was one (how can you EAT?), the last face he/she sees. Bin Laden’s execution didn’t fill me with relief either. Little murders and big murders breed more murder and anguish. If Troy Davis is a martyr and truly innocent, Dish is cynical enough to know the effect won’t last long given our appetite for fresh blood. I hope this execution brings about discussion. I fear it won’t. Gosh, my soap box makes me seem taller, don’t it? I’m only 5’5.

Better than death talk, the balm of tonight’s premiere of The Office. James Spader will rock harder than Kathy Bates since he was born to be an ineffective, punishing office worker (see Wall Street, Secretary). He and Rainn Wilson are so good together, it’s almost porn.

Emily Deschanel aka Bones popped out a son. Mazel! Must catch up on Modern Family. Last night’s Criminal Minds did damage to my psyche. How I love those behavioral specialists.

Countdown and relaxing meditation starts now for when Dish is reunited with her beloved Duran Duran in DC (TG is threatening to throw his panties on stage) and NYC: 26 days!

Not because R.E.M. has broken up but because fame-whores Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison have signed on to do a reality show. We all knew this would happen! What’s even worse, Dish is curious to watch. 35-year age difference + religious fervor + underage marriage + questionable musical talent = delicious trainwreck potential. Who needs the public executions of ages past? We have reality. Oh, and R.E.M. broke up. They never did anything for me but a week ago I watched “Losing My Religion” and thought, I get it now. Best of luck to the group in their future projects.

What’s real/rumor? Saw non-baby bump pic of Jen, though could be early stages. Brad said bad things about being married to Jen. Now lots of apologies. Jen happy with Justin. Could Brad be jealous? Is Jolie too skinny? Must all be hooey but hard to interpret as benign Pitt’s words about his marriage. Also believe Jen’s romance is selling more papers than the Pitt/Jolie old news. Yes, I’m on Team Aniston but when it comes to movies, Team Everyone. Moneyball out soon!

Hershey Kiss reports Darren Criss killed on Glee and that anything Darren related is not to be missed. I tend to agree and will catch up anon.

Dish is trying to do Atkins after major meringue creme anglaise dessert last night with TG-Daddy, who is a divine creature and gave me a pen with his name on it.

What did you think of Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men? He killed in the ratings. The walking around naked thing might get old, but I enjoyed the funeral scene and how easily the writers could turn a tragic event into comedy. My favorite part of the show: seeing our beloved Dharma & Greg. It wasn’t the funniest show I’ve ever seen, but it’s better than most shows on the air.

Sadness: Mary Ann Mobley and Gary Collins have separated after 43 years. Such a strong marriage from Dish’s childhood. I vaguely remember her talking about a colonoscopy or something intimately butt-related on Entertainment Tonight and thinking, wow, how romantic. Or maybe they had joint-colonics? If Gary and Mary Ann can’t make it work, who can? Save a Prayer for Ms. Mobley as she endures treatment for Stage 3 breast cancer.

Chaz Bono, David Arquette were spectacular on DWTS. Also spectacular: Gays can now serve in the military. Openly, I mean.

Why are award shows so lame? The writers just aren’t funny, the stars are acting same-old and the speeches are repetitive. How many times can you hear, “I didn’t prepare anything to say. I didn’t think I would win.” Dish likes scandal and crazy at her awards– like Meryl Streep saying she needs to do yoga or Jack Nicholson’s talking through his butt or, yes, Ricky Gervais who makes the stars/audience tense. I love Jane Lynch. I thought she did a good job as hostess–especially the “why I’m a lesbian” and introducing the cast of Entourage, but the show dragged. Cut Emmytones, SNL dance/song number–make it a 2-hour show.

Highlights: Charlie Sheen was gracious indeed. Some lovely dresses, though Christina Hendricks’s boobies are two giant air bags squashed into a dress. I couldn’t look at anything else. Rainn Wilson tweeted his rage that Steve Carrell didn’t get an Emmy and I’m right with him there. Kathy Griffin–looking great in red–kissed Ryan Seacrest, an abomination.

Dish was on vacation today and, aside from speculating about Jennifer Aniston being preggo or not (wearing big coat does NOT help!), watched Limitless. I still believe–for no reason–that Bradley Cooper tortures small animals (his French is better than mine so must hate him!) but keep giving him a chance. He is competent in this sh*t-fest that is an obvious reference to our current drug culture. It might have been more interesting if Billy Crudup had been cast. Robert De Niro does his usual mentoring and you have to wonder why he’s in so many crappy movies. The biggest philosophical question Dish must raise: If we can take a pill to realize our fullest potential, doesn’t that mean no contact with others? When you bring the hell that is other people into the mix, that renders us vulnerable and imperfect. OMG, whole point of movie. Brilliance.

That took so much effort. Time for Dancing with the Stars!!!

Blessings on Dolores Hope who passed away at 102.

So, Alec Baldwin is stirring up more trouble with his creative differences–at the eleventh hour of the Emmys. He will not yield. He was asked not to include a joke in a skit and he wouldn’t do it otherwise! As for me, I can’t wait for three hours of Jane Lynch. That’s my idea of heaven. Here are my win predictions:

Lead Actress in Comedy: Laura Linney (Want Edie Falco)
Lead Actor in Comedy: Steve Carrell
Supporting Actress in Comedy: Sofia Vergara (Jane wasn’t in much of Glee)
Supporting Actor in Comedy: Eric Stonestreet (always)
Comedy Series: Modern Family
Lead Actress in Drama Series: Mireille Enos (MUST WIN! Absolutely brilliant)
Lead Actor in Drama Series: Michael C. Hall (but it might go to Buscemi because he’s a veteran)
Supporting Actress in Drama Series: Christina Hendricks (why not?)
Supporting Actor in Drama Series: Alan Cumming
Drama Series: The Good Wife (but think Boardwalk Empire might win–blah)
Lead Actress in Miniseries or Movie: It pains me but Kate Winslet
Lead Actor in Miniseries or Movie: Greg Kinnear
Supporting Actor in Miniseries or Movie: Guy Pearce
Supporting Actress in Miniseries or Movie: Evan Rachel Wood
Movie or Miniseries: Mildred Pierce
Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Colbert Report
Reality Competition: Dancing with the Stars (though for Hershey’s sake, I hope it’s the Amazing Race)
Host for Reality Competition: Jeff Probst b/c he has the cojones to go to these remote areas with these a-holes.