Dish Upon a Star

Posts Tagged ‘Bachelor Pad

Seriously, Dish has been making all kinds of fatigue-induced gaffes today, mostly to herself. It was a special day because I got to meet a beloved famous person. Pics were taken and I’ll post them when I feel safer and less jinxey. Details to come on how it happened.

Holy hellfire has sprouted a sheet of ice and if you wear your James Cameron 3-D glass, you can see Satan is tap dancing like a happy fool. Dick and Lynn Cheney have come out in favor of gay marriage: Did I just eat a dream cookie? Talk about yay!

In yuck, former Bosox baseballer Manny Ramirez was arrested for domestic violence, i.e. slugging his wife. Do I have to say it again? Never date/marry an athlete.

Catching my breath with Bachelor Pad (spoiler alert): I spent the two hours mostly starting at Vienna’s nose job and extensions. She used to have this marvelous dip to her schnozz and now it’s gone. The hair is not really blond and really not real. I don’t get what she’s doing, though her diva-tude becomes boring without another talent. Jake and Casey, redeemed. Erica has become the Oracle of Delphi. Holly is pure love, which is why she attracts men. I loved Michelle this season, as opposed to her appearance on The Bachelor with Brad’s season. Intro of new bachelor who could be one of my former students so I cannot watch. He’s like 12. By reading this, you would think that I am a fan of the Bachelor franchise but I’ve only watched it once. The above show came on by accident during a vulnerable moment and I got sucked in.

And now to rest. Dish might be on television soon. It’s been a good day. Now I see why people want to be on TV. We’re ready for more offers, but I have to run off this dream cookie. 500 calories.


Did you watch Obama’s jobs speech last night? An ardent believer that Hillary would have been better, I couldn’t tear myself away and felt this speech was more powerful than others. Now let’s see if anything happens. Dish doesn’t get involved in politics.

As you all know, Duran Duran is touring and I’m feeling that pang, like, everyone and their mother has met them, but not Dish. I’ve had friends play tennis with them, attend weddings with them, work on projects with them, party with them, and John Taylor even knew of my existence for a few minutes in 1986. Despite this, I’ve always been a day late, maybe for my own good. This angst is fourteen-years-old of me but there you go. I’ve workshopped it, therapized it, put it in the safe, homey cottage but it’s still there, 30 years later. To be honest, my life is complete without fulfillment of this adolescent dream. I am spoiled enough to see them in concert twice next month. Here is Duran Duran accepting their GQ Lifetime Achievement Award:

There’s another vague terrorist threat for the anniversary of 9/11 and I have to say: HOW CLICHE, terrorists. It seems like a ploy to pit Americans against the Middle East.

Dish is fully jaded upon seeing evidence that Ella from Bachelor Pad, the one who’s just scrapin’ by and has to win the quarter mill to feed her son y’all, HAS HAD ALL THIS PLASTIC SURGERY. She was a knockout before! I shouldn’t be surprised. Then there are skeleton-pics of the new, shrunken Ali Lohan who seems headed on the same path as her sister.

To lift my spirits, I’m going to try to get TG to watch one of my two favorite feel-good movies: The Lives of Others or Ordinary People. I wore him down to watch Notting Hill. I will do it again. Such is the power of Dish.

Nancy Grace’s scenery-chewing and unmoving chin-length blond hair enraged me a little during the Casey Anthony case, but I think her appearance on Dancing With the Stars will be Must-See-TV. I bet she’ll be great. Redemption song! Controversy over Chaz Bono’s casting and being paired with a woman. I just want to say to those who might be appalled by Chaz dancing with a woman when there are so many other issues that are *actually* appalling: Get a life.

Fans worldwide gasped collectively over news that Justin Bieber was in a car accident. But he’s fine! And so is LeAnn Rimes’s ex-husband who just got married, thank goodness–it’s so face-saving. To keep things narcissistic, Dish noticed his new wife wears heavy black glasses, just like Dish’s new Tom Ford’s. And now, here’s something that will make you laugh and cry:

Confession: I watched Bachelor Pad again. The show has slid into Totally Boring now that they’ve sent off a pivotal trainwreck. Maybe I’ll go back to Proust. Talk about boring….What’s not boring: Dish is seeing Duran Duran TWICE within 9 days in October. I accidentally bought seats that are VERY close for one show (too much awesomeness for me). The big question is: Will I have a myocardial infarction?

It seems Monday has taken over as having the most Must-See TV. The Closer, Rizzoli and Isles, A-List: New York, Bachelor Pad and now…Al Sharpton on MSNBC’s Politics Nation. Once TG finds out about this, you might hear a squeal in the Chelsea area of Manhattan. He loves Al and especially commends him on his weight loss. He’s so cuddly now.

In–ahem–sadder news, Paris Hilton’s reality show The World According to Paris has been canceled. Face it, Kim K. has taken over.

The Will Smith/Jada drama continues with who-knows-what gossip. TMZ reports that the marriage is in trouble. That Will allegedly walked in on Jada and Hawthorne co-star Marc Anthony and left in tears. I hope this is false but thirteen years is a great run in Hollywood! Drama aside: I do think Marc Anthony is a good actor, judging from the Hawthorne promos. Such interesting timing with his split with J.Lo. But would you choose Marc over Will?

Watching The Kennedys, the one with Katie Holmes and Greg Kinnear. It is intensely boring. Don’t go beyond the first episode. No wonder why no big network wanted it.

Ben Flajnik is the new Bachelor. Bleh. He seems too normal. Will skip.

Dish is getting tickets to Duran Duran at MSG tomorrow and also sent mortifying high school term paper to their management company. All in a day’s work. So embarrassing. We are off to Montreal tomorrow for Honeymoon Part Deux. Let’s hope Irene doesn’t screw it all up.

A light has gone off in the music world. This one hit hard since Ashford & Simpson were a staple of my formative years. Motown God Nick Ashford died far too soon at the oh-so young age of 70. Please take a moment to enjoy and cry your eyes out:

Dish was peacefully checking FB when news of the earthquake appeared in status updates. I didn’t even feel it! Went out to run an errand and the streets were packed with evacuees. I tried to muster panic, but didn’t have one iota of adrenaline. Discussed with therapist my feelings of numbness over the latest earthquake drama and how does this related to my tormented animus. She laughed and said she didn’t feel the earthquake either and that there’s Nothing Wrong With Me and I Don’t Need a Ticket to Shutter Island.

Rumor of the day: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith split. I didn’t believe it when I saw it and, apparently, it’s pure bs. Talk about earth-shattering… If you didn’t believe in marriage before, here’s one that will kill all your innocence. Shocking to think that Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden are shopping around a reality show. It really is all about the pathetic train wrecks:

That said, I’m ashamed that I still can’t quit Bachelor Pad.

When the flight attendant told him to wait to use the loo, Gerard Depardieu peed in the aisle. They had to clean for 2 hours after. Il make le powerful Whizz. Witnesses said he was tanked. His camp said he tried to peed in a bottle but spilled some on the carpet. “What a foul man,” TG said, strong words since we are both Francophiles.

Still sad about Russell Armstrong’s suicide. I watched RHoBH, therefore, I knew him personally. No really, it’s the kind of news that makes you remember how much — Julia says it best — nonsense it all is. Love is the answer.

You know, I’ve been reading for a while and it’s harshing my mellow. All these outlandish–obviously untrue–headlines are soundly rejected as false. How sassy of them to go against the fun lies? Though their writers are quite engaging.

The news today hasn’t been good so I consoled myself with the latest Bachelor Pad (I know, I said I wouldn’t) and wound up in tears at the end over a touching gesture of love between two contestants. If you watch, you know what I’m talking about. There *are* some normal people on these shows. Everyone else is barking crazy.

I’m not sure why this is Duran Duran Appreciation Day. As far as I’m concerned, that should be every day.

Dish woke up at 5am to watch the truly atrocious Bachelor Pad–mostly to see the Vienna and Jake nonsense. They could all be used as landfill (something TG might say).

Dish might be taking a break from Dish. It seems futile to dish when there is so much other dish for others to read. I love reading tabloids but I loved more writing for a celebrity-adoring audience. After five years, what is the point dishing to my inner circle? I could just talk to them directly about my feelings regarding Jennifer Aniston’s sex life, Ashton’s taking over for feckless Sheen, or Lady GaGa’s latest baloney sandwich costume.

What is the point of a blog, aside from being watered down celebrity theory? Perhaps it’s time to infiltrate. Deep cover Dish. And as always, Duran Duran forever. And Julia.