Dish Upon a Star

Posts Tagged ‘Jennifer Lopez

Do I believe the rumors that J Lo and Bradley Cooper are dating? Not even a little bit. Dish just doesn’t see zing. Maybe because I still–irrationally–feel he tortures small animals and lights girls’ hair on fire for fun. J Lo needs a man who will spread petals on the floor leading to a romantic master bedroom containing jacuzzi, mirrors on ceiling and a sultry haze which makes everyone look better. Never mind that. J Lo doesn’t have time to date right now with American Idol, her resurgence as an A-Lister, and then caring for precious Max and Emme. My wish is that, for once, J Lo date someone as big as she is–both physically and famously.

Tennis anyone? I tend to avoid watching Serena Williams play (love Venus, tho!) given her penchant for mouthing off at umps, especially if she’s not playing well. Why can’t athletes behave like sportsmen/women? She was fined, according to recent reports. Congratulations to Samantha Stosur!

Prayers to the family of Spartacus actor Andy Whitfield who died too young at 39 after battling non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. So sad. I remember when he left the show and this is terrible news indeed.

How do we tread water in this life? We do it by trying to get on television. I could have big news in a few days. Dish might bask in someone’s greatness tomorrow and let us all pray no one faints! No, it ain’t Duran Duran, but definitely a hero.

Yes, Dish has extended her fifteen minutes of fame. It all has to do with my phenomenal love story and wedding to TG. I’d give you the link, but then I wouldn’t be so anonymous (wink, wink).

Also in the news: J.Lo celebrating her 42 years on Earth, gracing us with some very spontaneous killer ab shots. Thanks, Jennifer! Dish would do the same but you’d need sunglasses with how snowy white my belly is.

Amy Winehouse autopsy inconclusive, funeral tomorrow. Her song sales have skyrocketed. Can you just imagine the Amy memorabilia and imitators that will surface?

Right now, TG and I are catching up on our The Closer. He just claimed to have met Alan and Adam Arkin at a party in Bel Air (lie). Now he’s yelling at me that I’m not paying attention to Jon Tenney, a fond love of Dish’s since he was on Equal Justice. What will we do when we go to Montreal on vacation? We might have to do touristy things and grace the world with our fluent French…

For a few years now I’ve wondered when Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony would divorce, which is cruel of me. They announced their split yesterday. I remember when they got married. June 5, 2004, the day Ronald Reagan died (I think). What a sweet couple, though it seemed like a rebound marriage. She’d been engaged to Ben Affleck and Marc Anthony had only recently divorced from his wife. Jennifer is larger than life, a burst of sunshine on the screen. Every time she appeared with MA, she seemed bigger–though I have a large faction of Marc Anthony fans who felt she tainted him and his career. He’s looked terrible of late, withering to nothing and hiding behind sunglasses. I won’t speculate any more. I just hope the split is amicable for them both.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wife Taylor is divorcing Russell, who seemed like a total jackass. Maybe he volunteered for a shelter in his spare time. Benefit of the doubt?

In happier news, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillo finally got married in a private ceremony away from the hullabaloo. Yeah, I’m sure their nuptials would have been flooded with paps. Forgive the snarkiness. TG has strep throat. Today is our six-month anniversary but he is on the couch, healing. Even sick, he is a joy to be with.