Dish Upon a Star

Posts Tagged ‘Kim Kardashian

A very low key day in celebrity haps. Mel Gibson had a large victory in court. He only has to pay his babymama 750K. And he’s worth gazillions. They both seem bananas. Another victory, some mysterious buyer (hmmmm) wants to take Kim Kardashian’s sex tape off the market. Now that she’s married, it doesn’t seem right to watch it incessantly as one is wont to do.

So, Dish got around to watching Just Go With It because Aniston can’t be missed. The story is highly predictable and The Wedding Singer is miles better as far as Sandler flicks go (yes, I saw Punch Drunk Love). Brooklyn Deckler has huge melon-breasts and she’s perfect. But so is JA. Older + not-so perfect (since it’s Aniston, not-so = perfect) – stable family/good income = funnier + more attractive. Nicole Kidman and Dave Matthews are fantastic, bright spots in this dull as dirt movie. Nicole and Jennifer have amazing chemistry and I wondered, WHY? Wouldn’t they be competing? This is not the case. They complement each other beautifully–one sunny, funny honey-brown-blonde and one frosty crazy redhead. Then I realized they have one big thing in common: They both got ROYALLY screwed by their A-List exes. Can you imagine being a fly on the wall? Would love to see Aniston and Kidman star in their own movie.

Now that Kim’s wedding is over, what is there? Dish moped the streets, pondered still which Duran Duran concerts to see since NYC hasn’t been booked yet. I’ve read all the self-help, run my 18 miles, worked like a dog, and balanced my checkbook. And I got a purple wig.

So, to deal with my come-down, I plopped in Country Strong. Ya know, it ain’t no Coal Miner’s Daughter or Sweet Dreams, but it’s got some kick. I thought I was dung twanged out–no such luck. As fun as it might be to hate Gwyneth Paltrow with her skinny, blonde natural beauty dating the best and brightest of Hollywood and showing off all her oddamn accents, Dish is going on record to say: I love her. She has a hypnotic singing voice. She’s not a bad actress at all. And she sure can wear a sparkly gown. B*TCH!!! I will also put forth Tim McGraw as a double threat with his acting and singing. Love him! Here’s a Dish favorite, which was *almost* my wedding song until TG vetoed it for excessive sappiness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyidx_U9k6E&list=FLgKF76xPBOTIX6LFpyz2cwA&index=40. Instead TG and I chose: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGa6fRQCfAc&feature=related.

Dish is considering video broadcasts. Thus, the purple wig. What do you think?

TG and I spent good money to watch the latest critically acclaimed Jane Eyre, the one with Michael Fussbender and Mia W****???. We were so bored by it that we couldn’t even wait to see Rochester. $4.99 down the drain. Beautiful scenery and gripping backstory just doesn’t cut it. Give Jane an AK47 and we might have stuck with it.

So…Dish snuck in Something Borrowed, which was a mindless delight starring the perky Ginnifer Goodwin and awesome Kate Hudson. It’s pure fun and faithful to the book by Emily Giffin, which you will lose sleep over because it’s that engrossing. I recommend the flick but it’s no Citizen Kane. Now, if only they would do Something Blue with Kate Hudson and John Krakisinski (spelling?).

Kim Kardashian married the tall dude and Donald Faison and Cacee Cobb are engaged. Whoopdidoo!

Stupid News: I’ve witnessed drunk people doing stupid things (like one famous, respected person vomiting all over walls of our house) but US Ski Team member Robert Vietze drunkenly peed on a girl during a JetBlue flight. This would be giggleworthy in a movie starring Billy Bob Thornton.

Great News: Tina Fey popped and named her daughter Penelope Athena. AWESOME! Un peu Greek maybe? Joy Behar married her BF of 29 years. Jeez, you think they’d wait to get to know each other a little. David Charvet and Brooke Burke are married, so is Sherri Shepherd. Next week, Kim Kardashian will be sealing herself to that tall boy–who looks like he’s 12–forever.

Okay News: Chaz Bono has grown a beard. So have I. I mean, no I haven’t. Women never have hairs in places where they don’t belong. Daniel Baldwin took back his unruly ex and dropped the divorce. Makeup sex can be very powerful but the afterglow doesn’t last forever. You know this, don’t you, Daniel?

Another missing woman in Aruba. Poor Robyn Gardner. Creepy story.

Shocking celebrity death makes for endless tabloid coverage of her demise. I hate that I crave new information. Maybe the constant updates help her fans cope. I wonder, if she’d lived, would she have still been such a legend or just a sad addict? Her death propels her into that dead troubled icon stratosphere, where we now can look at her talent and focus less on her downward spiral. We can remember her as amazing in those early years, which are still very recent. Here’s probably my favorite song by Amy Winehouse, when she was great. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojdbDYahiCQ.

Are Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux moving in together? Why is this a bad idea? TG and I moved in together instantly. When you’re our age, why wait? Plus, they have tons of $$$ to get new apartments in case it’s a disaster. Go Jennifer!

Spike from Notting Hill was arrested at Comic-Con after shoving a female security guard. Brilliant actor but this sounds really dicky.

Kim Kardashian crashed her man’s bachelor party. This might be a regular thing in their marriage. (Dish advice: Never date an athlete. Never ever.) With such a high profile wife, though, maybe her husband will be angelic. Everyone will be watching.

By now, you must be sick of the outrage. What can one do? I’m so jaded after O.J. Simpson’s acquittal, this was almost to be expected. Even Kim Kardashian predicted this shocking outcome. If Kim says it, must be true: Anything can happen. For those who feel injustice has been done, remember that Casey Anthony’s life is over…until she joins the cast of Celebrity Rehab, followed by Dancing with the Stars. Not that this is related but Dina Lohan is allegedly in talks for DWTS. American pop culture since Titanic is mostly a joke! (Or maybe Dish is just getting old).

Onward: While treadmilling, I caught up on my Celebrity Rehab, in which Amy Fisher cried about being a porn star who’d been ruthlessly stalked as a teen because she shot a wife in the head. Some people have REAL problems. Now, close to my heart is the sad prospect of RHofNYC Sonja Morgan losing her 6M home on the Upper East Side. That wasn’t sarcastic. I do love my Sonja as she’s always cheerful, consults psychics and boffs artists. Seems she got royally screwed by her ex-husband, who could afford to keep her afloat. Stay strong, Sonja! I’ll do your cards for free!